26 Weeks Deep

Today we made it to 26 weeks! What a milestone this week is. It seems like every week since 22 has been a milestone to me, since we lost Erik at 22 wks. I'm feeling optimistic, but still realistic, and I'm slowly starting to think that this pregnancy just may work out. Its all starting to feel so real, and like there's a good chance that in just 10 more weeks, just 70 days, we could have our little boy in our arms. Its amazing. But that thought seems so... so foreign to me. Its something I've felt before, but when it didn't work out that way, I feel that I'm really cautious about letting myself think and feel that way again. I guess its just one of those things that "pregnancy after loss(es)" does to you.

To think that this trimester is 2 weeks away from being over, then I'll be into my 3rd trimester. Gah... It all feels so scary, I've never been "this pregnant" before. I don't know what a 3rd trimester feels like. Its uncharted territory for me. I've had 3 first trimesters, 2 second trimesters (counting this one) and never have I experienced anything past that point. My body is changing, what seems like, every week. My belly is looking 26 weeks, but my brain doesn't know how to process that. Twenty-six weeks... **sigh** I know it may not seem like a big deal to some. It just may be "another week" to go through... But for some reason, each new week it takes me almost ALL week to believe we've made it this far.

I know its only by the grace of God, and the uplifting of prayers that has me here and we couldn't be more grateful. Every day, every single day, has been a true blessing. And if for some reason, it was all to end (like it has before) I will always thank God for this experience. This has been a difficult pregnancy, from the IUI, then the cerclage surgery, the episodes of bleeding, the hopsital stays, not to mention the 10 long weeks of strict bedrest and 10 more to go. But we are where we are, its all been a blessing, and its all for the sake of this baby.

Not so Luck.y Charms

This morning, like many mornings, hubby wakes up early gets dressed leaves all my "necessities" near me like the TV remotes, cell phn, house phn, laptop, cross-stitch project, my outfit for the day, a breakfast bar or po.p tart, snacks, water, ect. and he kisses me & my baby belly then leaves for work. Well this morning, was not much different EXCEPT I didn't want a stinkin pop tart, or breakfast bar. I Wanted Luck.y Charms. So in my most pitiful, sweet, still- half-asleep voice, I ask him to please make me a bowl before he leaves. Him, being the wonderful husband he is, makes me my cereal, kisses me and leaves for work. So here I am, content with my bowl of cereal, propped in "my prison" or what others call a "Bed" and I began to eat my cereal. Mmmm. Marshmellowy goodness. I Love Luck.y Charms... All is going well, when I hear something funny. It's a June bug! Ok, I'm not sure yall are familiar with these gross little things, but they're like little beetles that fly around and run into stuff, and they're EVERYwhere outside come the month of June (hence the name.) So one of these little buggies is In My House! So I'm thinking, "its just one little harmless bug, just ignore 'him', MIL will be here in an hour and she'll take care of him, just ignore the little bug." So I do, or at least I try to. I go back to eating my cereal when that Son of a Biotch lands in my bowl! AHHHHHH! Nearly tossing the bowl in the air, I get so mad, I get up, march over the sink and pour it all out. Now I'm pissed off. That dang bug ruined my breakfast. Determined to have my Luck.y Charms, I grab another bowl and the box and that's when I realize there's no more. That WAS the last of the cereal. Now I'm really pissed off! We have, Honey Bun.ches of Oats, Cocoa Pebb.les, Specia.l K w/strawberries, Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks, but do I want those kinds????? NOOooooo. I want Luck.y Charms. UGH!

So disgusted with this big ole' mishap I call my husband to tell him what happened, because ya know, it is so important I have to bother him at work. I tell him my story and I can hear him trying to hold back his laugh. He's actually laughing. He's actually laughing, AT ME! So, that's when my emotions come flooding out, and the tears start. Ohhh yes. The tears. All because I wanted my bowl of Luck.y Charms, and that damn bug decided that my bowl looked like a nice landing spot, now I'm crying. (It has to be pregnancy hormones, because nobody that's sane, cries over cereal.) He tries to explain that he's not laughing at me, just at the situation, which by the way isn't any better so we hang up. Not 5 minutes later, as I'm turning on my laptop to blog about this tragic experience, my MIL calls. She tells me that my husband has called, and she's coming over earlier than usual with a new box of... You guessed it.
LU-hu hu-CKY CHAR-har har-MS Baby, OOOOOohhhh Yeahhhhh! Mother In Law's ROCK! She should be here soon with my "magically delicious" cereal so now I'm happy again.
That S-O-B June Bug may have stole my last bowl of cereal, but I'm getting the last laugh!
HA! HA! HAAAAA!

Hope everyone in blogland has a great Tuesday and can start today with a smile. But you better not be laughing at me!

Clothes, clothes and more clothes

Since all I have is time, I thought I'd take some pics to show yall what we've got so far.

My sister came over and gave me a bag of clothes that my nephew has grown out of. My nephew Lucas is 7 wks old, and that little ham has already grown out of his newborn and 0-3 month clothes. I couldn't believe his has already grown out of 0-3, so my sister tried to put an outfit on him to show me, and he looked stuffed in it. The little snaps were busting open, and in some of the footsies outfits he couldn't stretch his legs out straight. He's just so chubby & cute.

So our little one has got a nice little start. Here's pics of some the stuff she gave me.

Onesies, Mittens & Socks:

These onesies are premie, newborn, and justborn and a couple are 0-3 months

mittens on the left and socks on the bottom.

Gowns & Footsies

Hats and a pair of shoes

And these are the few outfits that I bought (on sale) while we were TTC. Ya know, those "too cute to pass up" kinda deals... Come on, I know I'm not the only infertile that buys stuff for my "future" babies.

Race Car overalls

Hoodie, shirt & pant suit.

(Here's the back of the hoodie) SO CUTE!

"Jungle Friends" romper

And this last outfit we bought when we were pregnant with Erik. There are a few items we're keeping that were just for Erik, but this one we're sharing. This one is daddy's favorite.

Houston Rockets onesie & shorts

(Back of onesie) Go Rockets!

Father's Day - Boot Camp

I gave my husband his Father's Day gift a day early, and paid for him to go to Boot Camp for New Dads. Our hospital offers this class to new dads, four times a year and the next class wouldn't be offered until late October. We're due Oct. 3rd, but doing a C-section the first week of September, so would this was his last chance to go before the baby would be here.

He went to the class that afternoon, and learned so much. He showed me that he learned how to change diapers, strap a baby into a carseat, carry a baby, hand off a baby to someone else, bathe a baby, and so many other really great tips to help me once the baby is here. Richard came home with a Boot Camp t-shirt, a certificate of completion, a folder full of great info for him and I, and most importantly he came home really excited and ready to have a baby. That evening we went through the folder together, and I am so glad that he went. The experience he had is something I'm sure he'll never forget. He said there were about 12-15 other men there, all new dads, and seeing their excitement for their soon-to-be arriving babies, really hyped him up for ours.

Here's a quick pic of a cute camo footsie he bought, his certificate, a handout, and his t-shirt.

Project: Bed Rest

It's been one week since I've started working on my cross stitching project, and I thought I'd give you a progress report to see how its coming along. Just a reminder, I am a novice, this is my 1st project, and I've never had a formal lesson on how to properly cross stitch I just drove head first into this one...

So, with that being said, here's a picture of my work.

Ob appt - 24wk 1 day

Yesterday I had two appts. First, I had planned on doing my one-hour Glucose Test at the lab, and getting out just in time for my Ob/gyn appt. Well, only half of that plan worked out. We got to the lab, waited almost 2 hours, still had six people ahead of me in line, and still hadn't gotten to drink the orange syrup. So I just crossed my name off the list and left.

My Ob was ok that I hadn't gotten it done, she said to just try to go some other time. By that time it was noon and I had been fasting for more than 12 hrs. so I was hungry and dehydrated. My Ob measured my fundal height and it was on track, then she used the doppler to hear baby's heartbeat and just when she'd find it he'd kick it and move away. He did that twice and the second time she felt him kick the doppler from under her hand, and we heard the swish of him swimming away. (lol, little stinker) She said he was probably retaliating because I was fasting to long for his liking. So after the appt we went straight to Chik-fil-a for lunch.

Kick baby, Kick!

This afternoon I noticed that when the baby kicked hard enough, I could actually see my stomach move. My stomach would thrust out in such an unpredictable way, just below my belly button, it was the funniest thing. So I had Richard place his hand on my belly, and we waited. Both of us were silent, breathing so shallow, starring at one another when IT HAPPENED! When his eyes lit up, I just knew he had felt it. It was so amazing. My heart leaped with joy, my husband finally felt his son move. I had been describing the baby's movements, or at least trying to, for some time now. We were so excited that it was now something he too could feel.

I can't even put into words, without falling into a complete pile of blubbery tears, how exciting this was for the both of us. So we laid there together, TV off, in complete silence just waiting for another kick from our little one. It took a while... I could feel little tremors, but he couldn't. Then finally he gave daddy a great big kick, right in the palm of his hand. The tears... They came pouring from my eyes. Happy tears that is.

After today, there's no denying that we now have a little soccer player in there.
Kick, baby KICK!

Project: Bed Rest

So to pass my time, I've decided to try to do something positive to keep my mind busy. So I've picked up cross stitching, and this is my 1st project. My SIL gave this to me when I was in the hospital with Erik, and after we lost him I stopped working on it. I took a few pics to show you what I'd done, and to document my progress along the way (which isn't much.)

So this is what I'm starting with... Everything that is done here, is what I did 2 yrs ago.

And here's what I've done so far...

Don't laugh. Its not much.

Thank You Anonymous Poster

THANK YOU anonymous poster, your comment makes me feel a lot better. I don't know ANYONE online or in "real life" that has had this issue during their pregnancy, so as you can imagine its quite scary to be alone in the dark.

I've looked online and can't find much. If you (or anyone else reading this) have any suggestions as to where I can find out more about this Velamentous Insertion of Umbilical Cord, literature, web sites, forums, really anything... Please let me know.

Thanks again for the reassuring post.

-Jennie

Velamentous Insertion of Umbilical Cord

I had been doing some research online to try to find out exactly what our baby's umbilical cord is doing. I knew the cord wasn't inserted properly, and the risk of fetal demise due to the cord ripping free was a possibility we are up against, but that's all I knew. Well at my last appt I asked more about it. She explained it to me some, and said that we'd have to do a c-section at 36wks (which I have no problem with) and its called Velamentous Insertion of Umbilical Cord.

Well here's what I found online.

http://www.thefetus.net/page.php?id=167

Per this site, VIUC is found in 1.1% in singletons and 8.7% in twin pregnancies.

www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=20497

Per this site, the definition of VIUC

Definition of Velamentous insertion of umbilical cord
Velamentous insertion of umbilical cord: An abnormal condition in which the umbilical cord does not insert into the placental mass but, instead, traverses the fetal membranes before it inserts into the umbilical cord. The main danger is vasa previa, a condition in which the blood vessels may be lodged between the fetus and the entrance to the birth canal. The unprotected vessels may rupture at any time during pregnancy, causing fetal hemorrhage and death.

This is all so scary, but I know it could be worse. I'm determined to continue learning as much as I can about this, and I will make it my priority to stay positive and thank God for every day our baby is still with us. We are so blessed to have gotten this far, I've never made it this far in a pregnancy before, and it is through prayers and God's will that we will have a successful pregnancy.

Ultrasound - 7 Pics

Appointment with my Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr. was wonderful!

My little chunky monkey now weighs a whopping 1 pound 4 ounces! The u/s tech got all the measurements she needed, and everything checked out great. It was so neat to see the lenses in his eyes. Then we got to see his feet kicking around, she measured them and his little feet are each an inch long. And he is definately all boy. I was telling the u/s tech that at the last u/s (video we showed our family) my dad wasn't 100% convinced that our baby was a boy. My dad thought "his package" might be a part of the umbilical cord and not a "winky." So she said, "Ok, well lets just show him THESE shots." And she printed out two pictures of our baby's "boy parts" just for my dad. lol. She's so funny. She ended up giving us 6 pictures total, along with our video. So here are our baby's pics. Enjoy!


These 1st two are from our May 3rd u/s - 18 wks 1 day


Profile




Giving "THE FINGER!"


These pics are from today - 22 wks 5 days



Profile


Baby waving



Cutest little baby face!
(The "ring" seen inside his left eye is a lens)


And last but not least, here are his "boy parts"

fishy thoughts

Yesterday was my brother's 30th birthday so he and all the guys went fishing in Freeport, Tx. Richard caught 12 fish, all to small to keep. My dad didn't catch anything. And my brother caught a 3.5 ft. shark in the same beach waters we swim in every summer. SCARY!!!

And yesterday, made one year since I got my one and only tattoo.

On a different note: This thing about having an ultrasound once a month, has gotten me so spoiled, especially since its video-recorded and I can show it to our family and watch it anytime I want. I. Love. That. If there is anything that has made this pregnancy a little easier on us, its the frequent ultrasounds. Richard and I are both so excited about Monday's appt. I really hope everything goes well, we're just so anxious about seeing our little munchkin and seeing how big he's grown. Its amazing to me every time he moves inside my tummy. About ten minutes after I eat this little guy gets to moving around a lot, I can feel him all the way up to my belly button. Its a sensation that's so indescribable. It reminds me of when you have an aquarium full of fish, and once you drop a little fish food in, how they all swim to the surface gobbling up all the food they can. That's what it feels like.

Ok, I'm rambling. I better go we have company on their way.

Erik's B-day & My Dr. appt

May 27 - Was a day that I'd been thinking about all year, the day our angel son Erik was to turn two. The day finally came and went, and together we got through it. The morning of his birthday I awoke to the sunshine, said a prayer to start my day and wished my son a Happy Birthday. After a late breakfast, Richard loaded up my wheelchair and we went to the cemetery to visit my special little birthday boy. But before we got there, we stopped by the flower shop to get some roses, and balloons. Last year I had made all the preparations for Erik's first birthday, picking out the perfect floral arrangement, buying a cake, making & sending out invites to our immediate family to join us at the cemetery for a balloon release, buying bubbles for my nieces & nephews, ect. So this year with me being on bed rest, I let "daddy" do all the work. At the flower shop he got a dozen white roses, and three balloons. It was so sweet. Richard couldn't decide what theme to go with, so he just went with all of them. One was a birthday balloon with Mickey Mouse (my favorite character), the next one was a sports theme-basketball, soccer ball, baseball & football, and the third birthday balloon had cars, trains, trucks, planes and as Richard says, "very boy-ish." We got there, he wheeled me down into the grass to be near Erik and God couldn't have made it a prettier day. The sun was warm, but hidden behind the clouds, the breeze was cool and so refreshing. We prayed, spent some time out there talking to Erik, and to our surprise my parents showed up shortly after. So all in all, the day went well. I think the good cry I had the night before, helped me get through the day. I cried a little, but for the most part I feel that we were able to celebrate his special day. I know our little Erik is watching over us, and has really "paved the way" for his brother to be here with us, even this long.





May 28- It rained and rained and rained... I'm so glad it did. It was the perfect weather to relax, snuggle up together and watch movies.


May 29- nothin' special happened...


May 30- Yesterday we made it to 22wks, YAY! And I had an Ob appt. and it went well. Dr. measured my belly, and it's measuring on track. Blood pressure was good, urine sample was good, and baby's heartbeat was 152 bpm which is also good. I haven't had any more issues with spotting or bleeding, so I'll be back to see her in 2 wks.


May 31- This morning I had a full house. My MIL & SIL came over and brought my goddaughters/nieces & nephews to visit. They brought me a movie, some magazines, a word search, a coloring book & crayons and a box of candy. They are all so sweet. My nephews were asking if we had decided on a name, and when I told them we haven't they started spouting off names. It was cute, they came out with some "normal" names like Jacob, Brian, Ethan, Brandon... Then it turned into funny, cartoon character names like, Jimmy (Neutron), Bart (Simpson), Donatello & Micheal Angelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) Elmo, and Cailou... We got a good laugh. I told them to keep thinking of good names, because we could use all the help in finding the perfect name.

hour before Erik's 2nd birthday

I've been thinking about Erik all day.

The tears my husband and I cried when we found out it was our last day with our baby.
The last private moments I shared with my baby still alive inside me.
The way my husband kissed my belly for the last time with Erik still in there.
The and last pleading prayers I prayed for a miracle to happen to save the life of our child.
The way my baby kicked inside my womb not knowing he was going to be born.
The physical pain of labor.
The fear of the unknown.
The moment I felt "Mother Nature" tell my body to push.
The moment I looked down and saw my baby leaving my body, yet still connected.
The way my Dr. softly whispered "It's a boy."
The way my Dr. swaddled our son and carefully placed him on my chest.
The way my son looked, so perfect, so tiny, pink and the most precious angelic face I've ever seen.
Touching his palm as he closed his tiny hand around my finger.
Promising him that we will always love him and will never ever forget him.
The warmth of his skin on mine as he laid on my chest.
Realizing that for the first time in my life, I felt like a mom.

The overwhelming rush of love I felt for my son.
Sharing my first and last moments together as a family.
Watching my husband holding and kissing his first born son.
The tears we cried.
Breathing in all that I could, and fearing that I'd forget his beautiful face.
Watching my parents & in-laws meet their grandson for the first and last time.
The feeling of never wanting to let him go.
Seeing the tears in the eyes of the chaplin as he baptized our son.
The moment I said my last good-bye, kissed my last kiss, smelled my last scent of baby, and feeling a huge piece of my heart dying along with my son.
Signing my signature next to the title "mother" on the paper work releasing our son to be taken to a funeral home.
Two days later leaving the hospital with aching empty arms, a lump in my throat, and a white and blue memory box with Erik's angel gown, blanket, baby hat, and footprints in it.

My mind can't forget the details, and my heart still aches like it happened yesterday. A part of me thinks "I should be over this by now" and "just be grateful for the miracle we have growing inside me right now." Well, I am so very grateful. But a stonger part of me feels like I deserve to be weak at least this time of the year. I feel like for the most part I'm strong all year, but once this day rolls around I can't stop the flood of tears. There's no words to express how hard this really is. My husband is being strong for me, but I know he too is dying inside.

Its about time for me to go now... Its 11:35pm and I've got to gather myself.


Heavenly Father, please hold my precious son tonight.
And when the sun rises, kiss his soft cheek and whisper
Happy Birthday.
It's what I'd want to do if he was here with us.

Living moments in our arms, but a lifetime in our hearts.
Erik Michael Gonzales
Born: May 27, 2005 12:09pm
weighing 13.6 ounces, and 10 inches long.

20 wks 6 days - 6th week of bed rest

Tomorrow I'll be 21 weeks and my little sweetheart is getting to be quite active, however he chooses when to be active. Yesterday he was a bit lazy, but this morning he was back to his vibrant kicking self again which was reassuring.

Richard and I are bonding with him but still haven't decided on a name. Heck, we haven't really LOOKED seriously for his name. I'm not really sure why we're "dragging our feet" but we're working on it...

The bed rest is challenging, but I'm more accepting of it. My husband is amazing, and has been a real trooper. The Dr. prescribed "NO ACTION in the bedroom" law is difficult on me at times, but for him he is so focused as to WHY we are being forced to abstain. When I try to stress to him how not having any intimacy what-so-ever is so difficult, he just holds me and reminds me that we are doing this for our future, its not permanant, just a temporary state that we have to be in. He tells me that he loves our baby and me to much to be selfish about his physical urges and nothing is more important to him than, us. So from that I have to gather myself again and refocus myself to make sure my eyes are still on the prize, and I'm not being swayed in the wrong direction. Through this I have gained a new respect for him and his strength. He's a super dad and husband, doing all the house work, cooking, laundry, bills, really everything in the house. He has really done so much to try to make this bed rest easier on me, I know I am so lucky to have him. Another person that is really helping us is my mother-in-law. She comes over in the morning around 8:00 and stays till noon and in those 4 hrs she cooks breakfast for me, does the ironing, folds the laundry, makes me lunch and does the dishes, while my husband is at work. I don't know what I'd without her help. I can only get up to potty & to shower so I haven't seen the kitchen or the other rooms in my house, in over six weeks. S-I-X WEEKS! It's so weird to me, I miss my freedom but I know its for the best.

My next appt is May 30th, and my next ultrasound is June 3rd. I can't wait. I know I'm spoiled to have as many ultrasounds as I have, but I've gotten used to seeing him once a month and with the bed rest the time between ultrasounds seems to be dragging.

I promised u/s pics in my last post, but Richard hasn't scanned them for me yet. I will have to get him to do that soon.

It's SO good to be back.

Well ladies, have we got some major catchin' up to do! First things first... Many heartfelt thanks to you all for keeping us in your thoughts & prayers. I firmly believe its the wonderful out pour of prayers that have really lifted us and continue to keep us going. And thanks to my good friend Jenna for posting updates and keeping me busy and in-the-loop of real life outside of my house and hospital.

Now, for a quick (as quick as I can make it) catch up.

April 16th- I got home from work, plopped down on the couch to relax before starting dinner and I started bleeding. Freaked out, I called my OB and she told me to get to the hospital asap, she'd be there waiting for me. DH got home in record time and off we went to the hospital. We got stopped twice for speeding but pardoned once the police found out why. Once we finally got there, I was admitted to the Antepartum floor and we got to hear little one's heartbeat. That was so reassuring. The next morning we did and ultrasound and no source of bleeding could be found. I had stopped bleeding and was released that afternoon. But I was put on strict bed rest.

April 23- Exactly one week later, I started bleeding again. Back to the hospital we went. I was admitted again, we heard fetal heart tones, and the following morning during the ultrasound no source of bleeding could be found. AGAIN! So the only thing that we were told was that the placenta MIGHT have had a small separation from the uterine wall causing some bleeding, and because I'm on blood thinners for my blood-clotting disorder, that's what I was bleeding a lot. I was in the hospital for 3 days before the bleeding stopped and I was released. I was sent home with instructions to have a progesterone oil injection once a week to keep my uterus calm. And thank God, I haven't had any more bleeding since the 26th.


The first weeks of bed rest were horrendous! But now as time passes its getting a little easier. And now that I have a new lap top & wireless Internet I'm hoping this will help pass the time.

May 2- My sister went into labor. She had a wonderful delivery and baby Lucas Levi entered the world weighing 7 lbs. 4 oz. and 19 inches long. Mommy & baby are both doing well. And big brother Jacob (2 yrs old) is being such a big help.

May 3- I had an ultrasound with my Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr. (which I'll have to post pics a little later) just to see how we were progressing. The ultrasound went well and with much delight, my husband and I are so excited to announce that we now know what we're having, and......



drum roll please...

It's........

A........

It's a BOY!

We were so shocked, we were so sure we were having a girl. All my family & friends told us they thought we were having a girl too. We were totally surprised. Of course we're excited to know its a boy, but now we're clueless as to what his name is going to be. We had already picked out a girl's first & middle name, and hadn't even thought once about a boy's name... So now the search is on for the perfect baby boy name. I'm sure it'll come to us, it just hasn't yet. During the ultrasound he showed his little "package" it was the cutest little thing I've ever seen! We got a VHS video of the ultrasound, and invited my parents & in-laws over that evening to see it to share the news. They are so excited!

So now its known that God & and our little angel Erik chose a baby boy for us to have, and we couldn't be more happy.


So now to the scary stuff. We found out our baby's cord isn't inserted to the placenta correctly. The cord is being held to the placenta by the two arteries and one vein that run through the cord. Since the arteries & vein are not being protected by the cord at any point in time, the cord could rip free, which would end our pregnancy in fetal demise. So the plan is to be on strict bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, I can get up to potty, and I get one 10 minutes shower and if and when we make it to 36wks I'll be having a scheduled c-section. Anytime I have an appointment, I am to be driven and I get around on a wheelchair. I don't mind, anything that will get this baby boy here safely, I'm willing to do.

So that's it.... My journey continues and every day I count my blessings because I know that we are so fortunate to have gotten this far. And every day that passes is another day closer to having our baby, and boy is he an active little one! I can feel him moving around and it is reassuring that its all gonna be ok...

Ultrasound # 5 4/2/07

I know this is a little late... But here's one of the ultrasound pictures I got from my MFMD's office on April 2nd.



Baby at 13wks 5 days






Next ultrasound is May 21st and we can't wait to find out if we're having a little prince or little princess!

"Pink or Blue, either way WE LOVE YOU!"

Easter 2007

We had a nice Easter holiday and I hope everyone else did too. It was extremely cold, but that didn't stop us from having a good time.

I know I have bad habits... But I'm craft-ier when I procastinate and stay up the night before, so Saturday night I was up past midnight putting together two Easter baskets. Its tradition in our family that the Godparents are in charge of getting thier Godchild(ren) their Easter basket. (Richard and I baptized Aimee a month after we got married and she was only 4 mths old, and we baptized Amanda when she was 1 year old so I've been making their baskets ever since.) Its so much fun, picking out foo-foo frilly girlly things to fill their baskets with. By the time the baskets are finished their mostly filled with pink & purple stuff, a new B.arbie & My.Little.Pony, sparkley hair ties, an assortment of flavored lip glosses and tons of snacks, cookies & candy. I absolutely love to do their baskets. Their only 5 and 6 years old, and Easter is so much fun for them. Even through the years of infertility, I've always loved making their baskets. It gave me a reason and a chance to buy all the fun little girl things I longed to buy all year. So this year when they got their baskets it was like Christmas to them. To see thier eyes bright with excitement makes us so happy... I love it, and can't wait to one day see my child enjoying Easter too.

Easter morning we went to the cemetary to visit Erik. Some of the babies in BabyLand had their sites decorated so beautifully, with Easter lillies, plastic eggs, and stuffed bunnies. It was a beautiful heartwarming sight to see... We took Erik a bouquet of lavender roses, and included one carnation. We added that carnation in honor of our little blessing we have growing inside. It was a flower from this baby to his/or her big brother Erik. We spent some time there talking about what Easter must be like in Heaven for Erik. The clouds must be glowing with brightly colored eggs for all the children, all the angels must be singing praise that the Lord has Risen, and Easter Lillies must adorn the gates of Heaven...

After we left the cemetary we went over to deliver the baskets & celebrate with our family. It was a good day.

Hopefully next year we (and all of you) will be celebrating with a new baby.

Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr. Appt.

Its been a while since I've posted... My job has had me so tied up lately. My work hours changed (for the better) now I'm working 7-4:00, and so far I'm lovin it. Its so nice to get out before the really bad 5:00 traffic starts. However, I'm not a morning-person, and the gettin'up at 6:00am has me a bit sleepy in the morning. But... I'm getting used to it.

Baby news: Monday I had an appointment with my Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr. (Since that's really long, let's just call her MFMD...) So anyhow. The appointment went well. She's the same MFMD that cared for me while I was pregnant with Erik from 13wks-22wks, she even did my emergent cerclage. After she spent many hours (even off duty) to be with me in the hospital. Its her sincerity & compassionate attitude that has left a lasting impression on me. I really do appriciate her.

She remembered me, and said she was glad to see me back. We reviewed my previous file together, and then she did an ultrasound. Baby's heartbeat was good, and he or she is measuring up to date. Fetal movement is also good. Then when it came time to do the Nuchal Translucency Scan, the baby didn't want to cooperate anymore. The baby was in a comfy position and wouldn't allow them to get a measurement. So she had me undress and she tried with a transvag. ultrasound. Still, baby didn't wanna cooperate. She had me cough, lay on my left side, then my right, she even shook my tummy a little (with the u/s wand on top of my belly) and still, the baby didn't wanna shift positions. So. She had me get dressed, go out in to the waiting room to sit for a while, then walk around some, go to the bathroom, drink some water, and eat a few pieces of candy. In the meantime she took in another patient, did her scan, then took me back to try again. When she started the scan again, the baby was in the same, non-cooperative position with his/or her legs crossed. It was a little frusterating, because I wanted to get the results... But she reassured me that if there was a thickness (indicating a possiblity for Down's) that it would be obvious to see. But that she didn't see any signs of that. So she gave me my VHS videotape of my ultrasound & baby's heartbeat and two pictures and sent me on my way... Little stinker didn't wanna cooperate, however we DID get a really cute video of our baby. At one point the baby was kicking around sucking his/her thumb. And towards the end, the baby opened his/her hand, and I nearly broke down in tears. I was thinking, "You better be waving Hi, little one."

Today we're 14wks 1 day. And feeling ok. Morning sickness is now just in the evening, so I can't complain.

I hope everyone is well. I'll try to comment on yall's blogs tomorrow.

funny but gross

Yesterday for dinner we didn't have anything planned, so we tossed together a quick Frito pie (Frito's corn chips, chili, shredded cheese & I like to add a little yellow mustard on mine.) When I have Frito pies it always reminds me of when I was a young playing little league girls softball, or when my brothers were in youth football and I was a cheerleader out on the field jumping around cheering. Good times... Anyway. So we had our Frito pies for dinner, watched Dancing w/the Stars, then for dessert I made us root beer floats. It was soooo good. We drank them, then after the show we hopped in the shower. All of a sudden, I didn't feel so good. I told Richard lets just make this shower a quick one, so I can go lay down. I had just gotten shampoo worked into my hair when.... I started throwin' up....ALL over his feet. I felt to bad. Physically I felt better, but I felt terrible that I had vomited on him. I jumped out of the shower and hugged the toilet to finish. All evening I couldn't stop apologizing for doing that, but he was understanding and said as long as I felt better then its ok and at least he was in the shower to wash it off...

Valuable Lesson Learned: Chili & IceCream don't mix well.

Ok, now that I've turned your stomach. Hope all is well with everyone and yall have a great Tuesday.