year pass by. All the while I'm still left with the thought that I might never be a mother to a living child.
As you probably guessed it, this morning's appointment didn't go well... I went in for my baseline ultrasound and my left ovary was clear, but my right ovary has a 40.5mm cyst in it (which is 1.58 inches)... So, unfortunatly I won't be able to do one last try I wanted to do this year... Which means we're out of running for a Christmas miracle... I'm upset. Hurt.. Disappointed.. And just let down, right now. I really was hopeful this month. I was so excited about doing the IUI & I was already hopeful that this would be the month for a miracle... Guess this year just wasn't my year for a baby. $&%# ! !
I hate infertility.. As if ya didn't already know that..
So. The the next step is birth control. Ironic, I know... I have to take it for 3 weeks, to try to shrink the cyst. So that puts me at 12/27 for my next appointment. Hopefully by then the cyst will be reabsorbed or at least small enough to get the ok to start injectables. The nurse told me to "look at the bright side, at least you know you can have a couple of drinks" for my birthday & Christmas. Like that's some consolation to being completely incapable of conceiving since I'm on, ahem... BIRTH CONTOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now THAT's something to drink to. Let's friggin celebrate!! Pass me a lime & double vodka why don'cha! UGHHH I'm so upset.
I hate to be the "bad news bear", so I'm gonna go now before the water works begin.
F*** infertility, F*** IT!
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2 comments:
Jennie- I am so sorry. I have been sad for you all night. I know that this boils down to more than just a missed cycle. It is just so crappy.
You will get through this, you are so strong and so amazing don't give up, I pray that in the end this will all be more than worth it.
I love you Jennie.
Sending you hugs...I was thinking to call you but I don't know what your work situation is...some people can take personal calls, some can't. Just let me know what good call times are, weekdays or not.
I know how bad it sucks to find those damn residual cysts. And especially to go back on those damn pills. But, it's highly likely that the next few weeks will FLY by with the holidays. And then you just have to think about a complete fresh start with the new year.
I'm having a glass of wine in your honor tonight at my Christmas party!!!!
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