Happy Holidays.

Ok, before I tell ya about my Christmas, I have GREAT NEWS! Last Monday at my support group meeting my friend Velma, bless her heart, she got pregnant & miscarried a 16 wks. Well, she told me she had something for me in her car, so after the meeting I followed her out and she gave me 2 boxes of Follistim, unopened, refrigerated, unused boxes. She said that the drugs were left over from the study she quilified for, and she wanted me to have them since she was not gonna be ttc for a while. So I graciously took it. Velma & I coincidently have the same RE. So this morning I went in for a baseline ultrasound, and I took the drugs with me. I wasn't sure that my RE was gonna approve, but it was "worth a shot." Well after the u/s I was told that the cyst had shrunk down to a 14mm. We really need it to be <10mm. So I'll have to be on BCP for 2 more days. After that, I'll hopefully have a visit from AF within 5 days and on Cycle Day 3 I can start Follistim! WOO HOOO! I'm so excitied! My RE gave me a new pen & a DVD to show me how to "dial up" the correct dosage, but she said the drugs were good as long as they stayed refrigerated. I was so excited. She told me that I was so lucky to have these drugs just given to me. I did offer to pay Velma for them, but she refused to take my money since the drugs were given to her for free from the study. My goodness, if this cycle is THE ONE, my baby's middle name is gonna have to be Velma as the biggest Thanks I could ever give. But if its a boy... We'll have to rethink that. "Velma" doesn't sound to masculine. LOL, I guess we'll get there when we get there.

So Christmas Eve we spent it at my parents house. My family was all together so of course we had a good time. I made dinner, and my mom and sister made desserts. We all ate, then opened gifts. Then my brothers opened a bottle of Tequila. Between the 3 of us, we put away a bottle of Sauza Hornitos Tequila. We did shots, so the bottle didn't last long. Then they wanted to start a new bottle of Crown, which I found out on Christmas that they started & finished around 5:00am. Bad, bad, bad. I didn't stick around for that. We left around 11pm to my sister in laws, and we played "Deal. or No Deal" on her tv. It was fun, especially with a little alcohol to make me brave, lol. We spent the night there, then had Christmas breakfast the next morning with my in-laws. It was good. We opened gifts there, then we hung out a little while then went home. Once we got home, we were exhausted. But not to tired to open our gifts. So we sat on the floor next to the tree and gave each other gifts. By gift #3 I was in tears. Everything that I got Richard was wrong. He already had the CD that I gave him (he has over 600 cds, how was I suppose to know he had that one? Guh.) The radio walkman he wanted didn't have an AM setting, it just had FM. He really wanted to listen to Sports Radio on the AM setting, and I didn't even notice when I bought it, it didn't have it. Ok. Then the beard trimmer thing I got him, his mom gave him the exact same one... CRAP! I couldn't help but to cry. Now I feel stupid for crying about it, but at the time I think it was just emotional moment for me. Richard felt so bad, that I felt so bad about it... He tried to cheer me up, and told me I wasn't allowed to open any gifts till my "tears were tucked away." So I put them away and tried to enjoy the rest of the day. After we opened them, we cleaned up then went to visit my little Erik. When we got to the cemetary, he had all kinds of new Christmas "gifts." He had a stuffed brown puppy wearing a red scarf, pointsettas, a green bow on his marker, and some snowman & present picks. It was so CUTE. I loved it. We took him some fresh gerber daisies, a new green & silver pinwheel, and a christmas statue of a little boy knealing before the cross. (I took a few pics I might post later.) Richard was sick w/fever & feeling achey, it was so cold and the ground was really wet so we didn't stay very long. We were there maybe 15 minutes. This Christmas was so much easier on our hearts, it was still hard at times, but over all it was a lot better than last years.

I, like many others, hope that this Christmas is the last one we have with out a baby in our arms.

So from mine to yours.
Merry Christmas.