GI

Going back to my "6 week postpartum" entry, I mentioned I've had 3 attacks and was going in for an ultrasound. Well I got the ultrasound report in and it states that there are no gallstones however the report says 'the liver is echogenic, compatible with grade II fatty infiltrate. No focal lesions are seen, intraheptic biliary ducts are not dialated.' On the bottom of the report it restates I have 'grade II fatty infiltrate of the liver.' Another thing, my CBC (complete blood count) report came attached to the back of the ultrasound report along with a referral to see a Gastroenterologist. The CBC report had 3 things highlighted, apparently my liver enzyme levels are elevated.


Alkaline Phosphatase -- 142 ----normal is 33-115

AST------------------- 156 -------------- 10-30

ALT------------------ 342 --------------- 6-40


This morning at 10:15 I went to the GI dr. and he Rx'ed me Nex.ium along with OTC Vitamin E. We'll see how that helps. Dr. said that normally women that have just had a baby are usually susceptible for fatty cells developing in the liver (because of the weight gain & loss) and for having these attacks. Since the developing baby in utero causes one's organs to shift upward making room for him/her, once the baby is out and the organs begin to 'migrate' back into place that's when issues tend to arise. I'm thinking, "Great! Just what every new mom needs, more issues to face while trying to adjust to having a newborn! That's not right!"
Now I'm scheduled for a Upper Endoscopy for Thursday Nov.15th 7:30am. So we'll see how that goes... hmmm. Sounds like fun.

Also in that 6 week postpartum post I mentioned that Joey has 2 copies of the MTHFR gene mutation. So I've made him an appointment to see a Pedi-Hematologist to discuss what the protocol is going to be for him. So Joey's got an appointment tomorrow at 11:45 at Texas Children's Hosp.

PooPoo & FooFoo baby shower

Yesterday I took my little man to see his Pediatrician because he wasn't feeling good. He had been inconsolably crying for hours and wouldn't sleep unless he was swaddled tightly and in my arms. (Slightly TMI) Over the weekend he became constipated and yesterday his tummy felt bloated. I talked to the Dr Saturday and he told us to do 2 things. One, sit him in a bath of warm water with a little baking soda. Supposedly the baking soda is to relax his little...um... **whispering** ana.l sphin.cter. And he also told me to give him 1 ounce of baby apple juice or baby prune juice a day until "it" happens. We did both and neither worked. Three days of non-stop crying and I'm exhausted mentally & physically, and my poor baby is too. It makes me so sad to hear his painful cry, its a helpless feeling. Sunday morning at 5:30am he finally cried himself to sleep. I couldn't put him down because he'd start crying again, so we slept together in the recliner. Anything to get him to stop crying, and to sleep. Sunday and Monday night, same thing. We camped out in the recliner together and got a little more sleep. So the Dr. told me I could give him 1/4 of a Pedi-glycerin suppository twice a day or until "it" softens. We did it, and it worked. And I don't think there was ever a time in my life when I was this happy to see poopoo. lol.

At the appointment Joey was weighed, and my little guy is now a 9 pounder! I was thinking he was 8 and some change. But he is 9 lbs. 1.5 oz.

Well this weekend my mom & sister are throwing us a baby shower/meet the baby. Its gonna be so much fun. Its gonna be a Co-ed party and all of my aunts, uncles & cousins are coming. My dad is BBQing, and my sister has some games planned that sound so much fun. I can't wait! AND!!!!!! Next weekend my SIL's & MIL are throwing us a baby shower. This one is gonna be more "foo foo" and traditional, you know ladies only (and Joey too), hor' devours and cake that kind of stuff.

6wk Postpartum

I just got back from my 6wk postpartum/post-op appt. For the most part, it went well.

We talked about contraceptive options since we're not currently TTC and little did I know that the MTHFR (one copy of C677T gene mutation) that I have is going to cut back my options. I have to call and schedule an appointment with a Hematologist to discuss what he suggests I do/take without putting myself at to much risk for blood clotting. So my options are good ole condoms (ummm NO!), an IUD (Mir.ena or Pe.raGard), Progestin-Only BCP, or Tubal Ligation (which I'm not ready to commit to.) So until I talk to the Hemotologist, it looks like condoms are our only option. Crap! Oh well, I guess its better than nothing. Dr. orders we've abstained since December, so its been more than 10 months without sex. So tonight we're turning off the TV early, switching the ringers off on the house phone and we're gonna have ourselves a little alone time. That is If/When Joey decides to go to sleep. Gah, I hope he sleeps...

Anywho... I don't think I've mentioned it yet but tomorrow I have an ultrasound. Obviously, not the fun kind either. I'm going in for an ultrasound on my chest. This week I've had 3 "attacks" and from what I'm gathering it might be my gallbladder. The attacks are severely painful, honestly it is more painful than labor pain and c-section incision pain. My appointment is at 9:00am so I'll have to chime yall in once I find out what's happenin. Today my Ob said that its not uncommon for a woman's gallbladder to start acting up after she's given birth. In fact, that's when BOTH my SIL's gallbladders acted up. They've both had to have their gallbladders removed, and I'm thinking that's the path I'm headed towards. However, one of my SIL's told me to take care of it before it becomes an emergency situation because if its not an emergency the incisions are done w/laser and are tiny and the healing time is short. If I let it get outta hand, and it becomes an emergency then I will end up with a nice incision as big as my c-section incision. And I'll be damned if I have another incision as big as my c-section open up on me again. My husband will down right divorce me (and I don't blame him) before he has to stuff his hand in my stomach again to stuff a wound.

On to other things:
Joey is doing good, we're having a small run in with Thrush, but nothing to major. I have to give him his medicine 4x a day, and he's not liking the taste of it. I'll give him his meds and he spits it out. I had NO IDEA a 6 wk old (2 wk old if he was at term) baby knew how to spit something out. Its the funniest thing. I shoot the meds in his mouth and almost instantly I hear him "Pfffft Pffffffffft Pffft" and his chin is yellow and sticky from the medicine running down. I couldn't help myself so I tasted a tiny bit of it, and it doesn't taste like anything but maybe a little sugar but not much. Either way, Joey isn't taking a liking to it but we gotta do what we gotta do. Another thing we're noticing is that he's starting to get Cradle Cap. Or what I call Cradle Crap. Its not bad yet, its just a little gummy on his soft spot. So I'm washing his hair while using his baby hair brush and hopefully that'll help some.

The other Not so good thing about Joey: His Pediatric Neurologist called yesterday and told me that his lab work that was drawn came back and he has TWO copies of the MTHFR gene mutation. I'm not sure what that means, but now we're having to make him an appt with a Pediatric Hematologist to discuss what's next and how he will be treated.

5th week

Today my little munchkin is 5 weeks.

Lots of good stuff is going on. But bad news first. I'm dreading going back to work. I mean really, really dreading it. Anytime anyone asks me if I'm ready to go back to work I have to change the subject because I end up so emotional and teary eyed talking about it. I'm so not ready to let my son go. My MIL is going to be watching him, so I know he'll be in good hands, but I'm not ready to hand him over to her. I want to be with him 24/7. My MIL has been coming over one or two times a week so I can run errands around town, or just to get outta the house for an hour or so and when I'm gone, I miss him. I know I'm being such a baby about this, but I'm starting to feel separation anxiety just knowing my return-to-work date is approaching. Not working would be great, but isn't possible right now. :( Ok, I can't talk about it anymore or I'm gonna cry again.

On to good stuff.

My little kangaroo is growing. He's filling out and stretching out. He's finally outgrown Preemie clothes and he's into Newborn now. LOL I know, I know Newborn is still really small, but its progress when Preemie used to fit baggy.

Joey's new trick: He LOVES his new bouncer. Seriously, how in the hell did we make it 5 wks without it?! I just put him in it bounce him a little and those turtle brown eyes start getting really sleepy. I don't have any pics of him in it yet. (Surprising since my camera has been attached to my hand every waking moment.)

And the REALLY good news is, my incision is closing! Today I had an appt and my Ob/gyn said we don't have to stuff it with gauze anymore. The skin is the only thing open now and we can stop dressing it so it can close. WOOOO HOOOO! Five weeks of dressing and redressing it twice a day and finally its healing.

One last thing before I go. The other day we were expecting company over our house so I dressed Joey in a polo shirt and khakis and couldn't help but snap a few pictures of him dressed. Well while we were snapping away we caught the most cutest picture by accident. I think he was smacking his lips or something but it looks like a silly smile. Here, I just gotta show you.

My Picture Perfect Birth Story

Introducing : Joseph Michael Gonzales

Born: Sept. 6, 2007 at 8:23am

Weighing 5 lbs. 8 oz. and Measuring 18 inches

Thursday, September 6th at 4:00am, we got up after a restless night, got ready, loaded up the car and headed out to the hospital. Before we got there we stopped by the donut shop to pick up donuts for the L&D staff, just because we were in a good mood and wanted to start their morning off on the right foot too. It killed me to have to be fasting with freshly glazed warm donuts sitting in my lap. Well we got to the hospital, surprised them with the donuts and let me tell you, they all were so happy, and I think that earned us the Star treatment. I got suited up in my gown, got the monitors on, IV started, while Richard got into his paper scrubs.

(Richard & Anesthesiologist)

Talk about NERVOUS!!!! All our family showed up practically at the same time, we hugged, prayed, and nervously joked around while we waited. Finally the anesthesiologist came in and asked me if I wanted to walk or ride in a wheel chair to the OR. I jumped at the opportunity to walk! I had been on bedrest so long, (2o weeks and 3 days to be exact) so walking was a nice little treat before the c-section.

(My last pregnant picture)

So I pranced my way into the OR and got settled in the bed. I had a Spinal & Epidural cocktail and the numbness started right away. At that point, I got really, REALLY nervous. I've been through so many procedures by this point that when I enter a operating room, its second nature for me to turn on my "clinical mode." I normally concentrate on deep breathing, think about something pleasant, and pray. This time, I couldn't get into that mode and that's when it dawned on me. I was numb from the chest down and I couldn't stop what was about to happen. I couldn't run out of the room if I wanted to. I was about to be de-pregna-tized in a matter of moments and a baby, OUR baby was going to be born. The miracle of life was about to happen in just a matter of moments... All the prayers, all the pain and frustration, all our fears, the months of waiting on bedrest was about to be history because a life was about to enter this world. Physically my body began to shake, the nurse said it was a normal reaction to the Epi & Spinal, but I think it was really a combination of my nervousness and the meds. They draped me, then my husband came in. He sat by me, and I asked him if he could see anything. He couldn't. I think he was to scared to look, but when we heard "It's almost time" he stood up. I looked up at my husband and could see his face mask getting wet from his tears. Then I heard someone say, "His head is out!" My eyes opened in surprise, "Oh My GOD His HEAD Is OUT?!" and just then I heard the tiniest, sweetest kitty cat voice "wheee-eee." Then seconds later, "He's here, It's a Boy! Congratulations!" At that moment I felt that my heart could've exploded, the joy and emotions and the huge relief is something I don't think there are words for. My husband and I hugged and kissed while we laughed and cried at the same time, then I heard the nurse say, "Look over here Mommy!" and they lifted him up for me to see.





Sweet Jesus, he was the most precious little thing I've ever laid eyes on. He was pink, a little messy, with dark wet hair and his tiny arms were out stretched flailing about while he cried. It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. His first breath truely took ours away. They quickly handed my son off to some nurses to get cleaned up, and accessed. He looked good. He was small, but he looked and sounded good. They wrapped him up and placed him in Richard's arms.







I can't begin to imagine what that was like for him. He looked at him, kissed his cheek, and sat next to me to give me a look.







Beautiful. Simply God's most precious gift.



There is only one other time in my life that I can say I truely FELT Jesus this close beside me, and it was May 27, 2005 when I gave birth to my angel son Erik. Its a feeling that rushes over me, that can't be started or stopped, it just happens. And I felt Jesus. I felt His presense with us. And I know that if I felt Him, that He would be holding my son Erik like Richard and I prayed He would that day.

The surgery continued and Richard left with the baby. That's when I relaxed, closed my eyes, Thanked God, and thought about what had just happened. I was closed up, and my cerclage was taken out. That cerclage held strong, and I'm sure that was a big factor in the success of this pregnancy. I don't remember everything after that point, I think I was drifting in and out of sleep but once it was all finally over I found myself surrounded with all my family. Not just my parents & in-laws, I mean ALL of my family! My Grandmas were there, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends... It was overwhelming but so nice of them. My room was filled with balloons, flowers, plants, and gifts.



My husband was in the NICU with the baby, they had taken there because he needed to be watched for seizure activity. My Pediatrician and I had made the staff aware that he had been diagnosed with Schizencephaly and they were taking all extra percautions just in case. My family could see Joey one at a time with Richard, but they had to be scrubbed in before they entered the NICU. So Richard was gone for hours. I didn't see him until around 9:00pm that evening when he had shown everybody the baby and he had finally come to my room to have dinner. I was a little upset I hadn't seen him, but understood that he was busy bonding with the baby. I wanted to see my son so badly but couldn't. Until finally at 11:30pm the nurse asked if I was ready to see my son. Of course I was, so I got into a wheelchair and at 11:45pm that night I got to hold my baby for the first time.









We stayed until his 2:00am feeding so I could feed him and he did so good. He ate the entire 30mL (1 oz.) bottle. He was really tired after it, so I held him until he fell asleep.




Friday & Saturday we had more family there to visit. And Sunday evening we were discharged.

Here are some more random pictures from in the hospital.

Pediatric Neurologist appt

Yesterday we drove 2 hours to Joey's appointment, and he slept the whole way there.

His Ped. Neurologist looked at the MRI images that we got when I was 30wks pregnant and compared them to the MRI images that were taken when Joe was in the NICU and said that there's a "phenomenal improvement." The dip in his brain is still there, but its significantly less than what it was. The six weeks in between the 1st MRI and the 2nd has made a big difference. He said that if we didn't have these images that we wouldn't be in his office because Joey's growing well and isn't showing any signs of being effected by this brain anomaly. So he told us he wants to see Joey again at 6 months to do a 3rd MRI to see if there are any more changes. And the best part, the part that makes me want to drop to my knees, is that he said he does not see Schizencephaly. Although Schiz. is not completely out of the picture yet; this improvement is such a big improvement that it just may be out of the picture soon. But for the mean time, he told us to continue to love and enjoy Joey but to continue to keep an eye out for seizure activity, just in case.

So over all the appt went well. But before we left Joey had to have blood drawn to see if he inherited the MTHFR blood clotting disorder that I have. It was so sad. The phlebotimist put a turnaquet (sp?) on his tiny arm and drew blood, and my poor baby screamed his little heart out. It was so hard to watch... I almost lost it. My husband couldn't bear to watch, he had to turn away, he couldn't stand to see him hurt like that. So now I know, Richard's definately going to have to go with me to Joey's 2 month appointment when he gets his immunizations, there's no way I want to go through that one alone.

Joseph weighed 7 lbs 5.9 oz and is 19.49 inches

Joey's 1st ride in his stroller

Exhausted, and on our way home

(with his little blue bandage)

Oct. 3rd

Jenna- Thanks for the encouragement (we talked on the phn) and thanks for the links.
Kirsten- Thanks for the comment, I don't see myself as a super mom yet. Just a mom that wants the best for her son. But if that makes me a Super Mommy, than I'll take it! :)
Dee- Thanks for your input too, God I had no idea BFing would be this hard. But if its just not meant to be, then it its just not meant to be. Thanks for the support.
Jenn- Thank you too. Sharing your experiences w/BFing makes me feel A LOT more normal and not so much like a failure.
Lauren- Thank you too for sharing your experiences w/BFing. It IS an intimate decision, I think I need to pray about this to help find my answer.
Sarah-Thank you for your kind words & support. I really needed to hear it from someone that I'm not making a selfish decision not to BF. (p.s. I emailed you the incision pictures)


I love you guys, I really do. If yall haven't noticed it about me, I'm the type of gal that wears my heart on my sleeve and I really do take to heart the comments that are left on my blog. So thank you all so much for your help and support. For the meantime, I'm gonna try to continue to BF, and before I give in and give up I've promised myself I'd contact a lactation consultant for one last good shot at it.

Looking at my ticker (which I need to delete & update) I see that today is my Due Date. Joseph is now full term... Wow. I still can't believe he's here and I'm not sure when that will finally set in. Everyday I look at him and think of how lucky and blessed we are.

Tomorrow morning (10-4-07) at 8:30am Joey has an appointment with his Pediatric Neurologist at TX Children's Hospital. Earlier this week I went to ClearLake hospital (where I delivered) and got his MRI images put on a CD, from the MRI that was done after he was born. I'm taking the CD tomorrow so we can compare them with the MRI images from when he was diagnosed w/Schizencephaly (that brain anomaly) at 30wks gestation. I'm thinking they're going to want to do a 3rd MRI... But we'll see how that goes tomorrow wish us luck.

(Mental note: Don't forget tomorrow is my sister's 3 year wedding anniversary) My sister is 24, married 3 years with two boys-a 2 year old and a 5 month old... Gah, what it would be like to be young again but with no fertility issues. Lucky biotch!

Ok. Its getting late I better go.

Unloading about Post-op & BF'ing

First of all, thanks for the encouraging words on bre.astfeeding. I was a little down about slacking off. However, for several reasons I don't feel its going well, and I think I'm closer to quitting than I am to sticking with it. Let me explain.

1. I didn't research bf'ing while I was pregnant mainly because of my previous losses, I had my doubts that this pregnancy would work out. So I have Joey (thank God) then he goes to the NICU for 3 days. All the while I'm suppose to encourage my milk production by pumping and when I go home, I have not the slightest clue (ok maybe a tiny clue) but not very much knowledge about bf'ing. But by the time I have a chance to reattach my head to my exhaused body, my milk supply has already been inhibited.

2. Since I STILL have not posted a birth story (which I am sorry for) I'll go ahead and tell you what's going on with me. After the c-section my Ob tells me that I DO have PCOS. Prior to surgery I had some symptoms but now that she's seen my ovaries I now have it for sure. From what she's said (and I have researched it any but) women w/PCOS often have issues with BF'ing... something to do with the hormone imbalancement??? If anyone has any insight on this, plz feel free to share since I don't see myself with any time to research stuff anymore.

3. (Possible TMI) This by far has to be the worst part and your probably not gonna believe me... But I have pictures (if anyone morbidly curious wants to see.) The day I was discharged from the hospital my staples were removed and "skin tape" was put in its place. The tape was suppose to be there for a week then fall off. Ok. So we come home with baby in tow. I walk inside my house and go directly over to my bed (which is located IN my living room since I was on bedrest for so long we moved it there.) and my husband placed Joey in my arms. That's ALL I did. Well, after our house guests/welcoming home party finally left, Richard and I were about to have dinner when I felt my pants wet from the front lower belly area. I slowly walked over to the bathroom to access myself when I saw that I was bleeding pretty bad. We had only been home an hour and I had bled through a gauze dressing, a thick hospital pad, and all the way through my pants. I showed Richard and he got a good look my incision and told me it was open about 3 inches across. I call my Ob and she directs me to "Get to the ER!" We get there and of course we have to drive up right behind 3 ambulances and the waiting room was so freaking packed. I get through triage, and as an "urgent care active bleeder" there's nothing that they can do but have me wait in the waiting room until a room opens. FIVE HOURS LATER (we were there from 9PM-2:00AM) I got my wound washed out and re-stuffed with gauze. The next day my Ob got me in to her office, and ripped open my incision completely with her fingers(it hurt like crazy!!!) So now I and my very GREEN husband are looking at an incision about 10 inches across my belly, and about 4 inches deep that he now has to wash out with saline and pack tightly with 3 strips of 4x4 gauzes. So not only do I have to wear a pad for post-partum reasons, but I now have to wear a pad across my belly over my incision. Tomorrow it'll be 4 wks that my husband and I have been caring for an open incision wound that we have to clean and redress 2-3 times a day all the while caring for a newborn.

So because of all this mess BFing hasn't been going well. I don't have time to eat much less try to pump or fight with my son that's already so nipple confused. I have cried so many nights, I can't beat myself up over this anymore. I'm trying, I really am. My Ob has even me a Rx for Reglan to help bring on milk production, and I can't tell if its working. I'm not getting much more than 1 ounce total when I pump so Joey's eating 3-4 ounces every 3-4 hours so I'm doing a lot of suplimenting. I'm so stressed out about this... I guess that's why I feel I'm closer to quitting than I am to continuing. Am I wrong? WWYD?