Today we made it to 26 weeks! What a milestone this week is. It seems like every week since 22 has been a milestone to me, since we lost Erik at 22 wks. I'm feeling optimistic, but still realistic, and I'm slowly starting to think that this pregnancy just may work out. Its all starting to feel so real, and like there's a good chance that in just 10 more weeks, just 70 days, we could have our little boy in our arms. Its amazing. But that thought seems so... so foreign to me. Its something I've felt before, but when it didn't work out that way, I feel that I'm really cautious about letting myself think and feel that way again. I guess its just one of those things that "pregnancy after loss(es)" does to you.
To think that this trimester is 2 weeks away from being over, then I'll be into my 3rd trimester. Gah... It all feels so scary, I've never been "this pregnant" before. I don't know what a 3rd trimester feels like. Its uncharted territory for me. I've had 3 first trimesters, 2 second trimesters (counting this one) and never have I experienced anything past that point. My body is changing, what seems like, every week. My belly is looking 26 weeks, but my brain doesn't know how to process that. Twenty-six weeks... **sigh** I know it may not seem like a big deal to some. It just may be "another week" to go through... But for some reason, each new week it takes me almost ALL week to believe we've made it this far.
I know its only by the grace of God, and the uplifting of prayers that has me here and we couldn't be more grateful. Every day, every single day, has been a true blessing. And if for some reason, it was all to end (like it has before) I will always thank God for this experience. This has been a difficult pregnancy, from the IUI, then the cerclage surgery, the episodes of bleeding, the hopsital stays, not to mention the 10 long weeks of strict bedrest and 10 more to go. But we are where we are, its all been a blessing, and its all for the sake of this baby.
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3 comments:
It's a very big deal; you've come a long way!!! Every day matters...my OB always tells me that every day the babies are in me counts as 3 less days they would have to be in the NICU. So every day is a celebration!!
I had to laugh (sorry!) at your cereal story because my cereal is oh so important to me every morning...I would be a complete grump without it! And if I saw a june bug in it, I know the bowl would have gone flying across the room!!! That was so sweet of your MIL to bring over a new box; I hope you enjoyed!!
Your pregnancy has been amazing so far.. from the very begining, hcg not doubling, the bleeding, everything. Your baby has held on. It just feels like it has to work.. only 10 more weeks and you will be holding him in your arms, that is so amazing.
It makes me so happy to read about your pregnancy. God is with you and your family.
70 days is going to fly and then you will be holding your little boy!!!!
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