Tuesday, October 31, 2006

YAY! Its Halloween

HAPPY Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope your day is a Spoooooktacular one with lots of sweets surprises.

This morning I came to work with my cute-sy halloween treats and they were a hit. I handed them out wearing my old lady mask and it had the girls laughing. It was so much fun. Everyone brought treats, and surprisingly not all were candy. One gal gave out halloween mugs filled with granola bars and a halloween pencil & halloween straw. Another gal gave out individual carmel dip and an apple tied on top with a orange ribbon, she even decorated the apple to be a jack-o-lantern, its really cute. They look like girl jack-o-lantern with big bow on it's head. My boss gave out orange bath poofs with french vanilla bean Bath & Body works bubble bath. The rest of the gals gave out candy goodie bags, cupcakes & cookies. My boss had on a masquerade sequin mask on, and my other boss had on a Jason hocky mask. Other than them two, I was the only other one that had a mask & dressed up. So we took pictures together. I know now I probably look like a kiss as$, but it wasn't planned. It just worked out that way. Anyhow.

I better get to work. Again, its before 10am and we've all managed to get back up on that sugar high.

Have a Great Day!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Halloween Eve

Its not even 10 am yet, and we've all managed to get ourselves on a nice little sugar high here at work. One of the gals brought chocolate cupcakes frosted w/oreo cookie crumbles for dirt and gummie worms, and a couple of 2 liter sodas... We're bad.

This weekend I made my halloween treats for tomorrow's office party. They're super cute! I made (stampin up) cardstock black pocket boxes with embossed shiny orange pumpkins & blk/white gingham ribbon, and orange ribbon. I just LOVE them. I can't wait to give them out. One of the gals I work with does crafts and we have just a tiny bit of friendly competition between us. But my crafts are always better than hers, cause I'm just good like that!
Well I am. Can't a girl toot 'er horn every once in a while?! :) Toot TOOooT!

Today I'm working the second half of the day in a different office. YAY! That office is way closer to home. Maybe I'll pay my hubby a little visit at his work to take him a treat. ME!

Ok woman to women, this abstaining thing is getting really hard. We're not suppose to till after my post-op appt, but I don't know how much longer we can hold out. We almost caved, ok I almost caved yesterday. Richard's been so kissy kissy on me, and its killin' me. I politely asked him to stop, and he's like... "I can't help it, I'm just 'lovin you lots & lots.' (phrase we use from a song in the movie, "That Thing You Do.") This is sad, but seriously last night I prayed for the desire to go away. I ended up falling asleep praying, so I guess God heard me.
Gah, its not suppose to be this tough. I've lived the majority of my life without it, what's my problem that I can't hold off a couple wks?! I'm so weak. If Richard caves, we're in trouble.
Next Monday is my post-op appt. I can't promise that we'll make it till then, but we're definatly gonna try.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Day 7 Post-Op

My incisions are healing and the pain & swelling is pretty much gone. Still have a little pain when I bend down to pick up something floor level, but other than that, all is well. My belly button incision looks the best, the bruise is now in the yellow stage so its looking somewhat better. (Yellow is still yuck, but its better than dark purple bruises) The lower incision looks good too, just not as good as the other. It looks like ------ that long. My only problem with that one now is that the area on either side of the incision is getting irratated from the adhesive from the bandages, and it itches. I'm trying not to scratch but sometimes I just can't help it. I know scratching is bad and it only makes the skin more sensitive, but its so itchy.

Off the subject... November 18th I'm having a spa party at my house, and I'm getting really excited about it. The last one I went to (was the first one I went to) was so much fun! It was SOooo relaxing, and such a treat to get pampered for the afternoon. I've been using all the facial clensing stuff, and I'm actually seeing a huge improvement. My complextion is clear, my pores are not as noticable. My sister is using the same as me, and she loves it too. With her being pregnant her hormones haven't been nice to her face. She said that when she uses it religiously she sees the difference. My mom (whom never wears makeup or uses anything other than normal body soap to wash her face) started using the "gold" line for over 40 women and she loves it. She has sun freckles, and she said that its actually lightened her freckles giving her a more even skin tone. Anyhow, enough bout that.

This weekends plans... Make my halloween treats for co-workers and do some house cleaning.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Richard's The MAN!!!!

lol He asked me to title this entry like that.

I just got a call from my RE regarding Richard's SA.

9% morphology____________ >4 is normal
8 pH_____________________ 7.1-8.2 is normal
1.4 vol.___________________ 1-6 is normal
60% motility_______________ 60% is the normal range
295 million total concentration____ 20-150 million is normal
248 million moving sperm = A+

I told Richard and he yelled, "YEAHHHHHHH!! I'M THE MANNNNNN!" LOL.
He's so proud of himself, now he's all cocky! (No pun intented.)

I'm just glad his #'s are ok. Now that I know he's ok, and I've had the surgeries and should be ok. I'm really anxious to get started TTC again. This was the little-picker-upper we needed. Or in Richard's case, the BIG picker-upper! LOL

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Day 4 Post-Op

I'm back to work. Yesterday I had my RE fax over a medical release to my work so I can return today, so I'm back in action! I'm doing pretty good (so far) just really glad to be out of the house, and away from Day Time TV. Man, it was bad. I didn't realize how many crap shows go on during the day, till I was forced to sit, rest and relax on the couch. I really wanna be a stay a home mom... But I'm thinking about chaning that title to something more along the lines of... Shopping Soccer Mom, or Mall Shoppin' Momma. Well, now that I think about it, I'm sure the little one(s) would be keeping me busy enough to not have time to watch day time tv... I hope.

Richard had his appointment. I went with him as moral support and I think just me being there made it rough for him. He said it didn't, but I feel it did. He got his cup & instructions and we were put in this huge dr. office room. It had a small chair, and an examining table in it... Nothing else. No visual aids, like I expected, or anything... Poor guy. He was so nervous, and I was nervous for him. I tried turning off the lights, but that made it WAY to dark and he was worried about spilling or missing... There were so many people walking by the door, and talking in the halls... It really made it difficult for him. I won't go into anymore details, but he did it, finally. He said it wasn't his best, but he did it. So I'm proud of him. He was under so much pressure. I had to be at the hospital at 11:30 for check in, so he was really rushed to produce his sample. And with it being his first time to do that, and being under so much pressure... He's a real trooper.

We got to the hopsital, got checked in, and I slipped into the "fashionable" hospital gown. We waited about an hour in little holding area. When it was time to go, Richard gave me a good bye/good luck kiss and when I opened my eyes, we both had tears in our eyes. I could see the fear in his eyes, and I know he could see mine. I just said a quick prayer, and took a couple of deep breaths of the "oxygen" and drifted off to La-La Land. Anesthesia sleep is the deepest sleep one could experience. I lost track of time, day, everything. And I never dream while I'm under. Its just enough time to close your eyes, and open them and its all over. No pain, no recollection of what just happened, its so weird. I guess that's why its so scary.

After the surgery my RE showed Richard some color pictures of what my insides looked like, then what they looked like after the surgery was done. Apparently, from what little info I can gather from Richard, I had adhesions (scar tissue) blocking my fallpian tube(s) (don't know if it was one or both) But after it was removed the blue dye ran through like it was suppose to. And I had additional adhesions on my uterus. I think... Richard didn't ask her any questions, and didn't really hear anything my RE had to say just that I was ok, and the surgery was successful. I have a post-op appt scheduled for November 6th, and I guess I'll just save my questions till then.

The first night was a bad night. Once the pain medication wore off, I was hurting. Hydrocodone was my saving grace and I spend those first two days & nights on the living room recliner. Getting the bandages off my incisions wasn't fun. One incision is in my belly button, and that one looks really good. Ya can't even see it. I know where its at only because its bruised there. And the bottom incision is doing well too. That one is on the pubic bone area, and the only problem with that one is that when I stand or sit, and the transition between the two, it hurts. It bled a little more than the belly button incision, but its not as bruised as my belly button incision. Yesterday I called my RE's office and begged a nurse to send my work a medical release. My job isn't a very physical one, so I promised her I'd take it really easy here, and I am. Its so good to be back in the groove of normal work. Its healing on my mind.

Thanks for all the prayers & support.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Surgery Day--nervous aimless rambling

Yesterday I went to my pre-op appt and watched 2 dvd's on the surgeries. Both were really good, and pretty informative. The best part is that they actually managed to calm my nerves a little. After the mountain of paperwork was signed at my RE's office I went next door to the hospital to get pre-registered. Man, now THAT was a lot of paperwork & forms... It made me feel like we're closing on another house, how much crap I had to sign & initial. Anywho.
Richard's appointment (to leave his contribution) is at 11:00am at my RE's office, and I have to be at the hospital at 11:30am for check-in. I'm HOPING he'll be "done" by then. He should!

My surgery time got moved up, it was suppose to be at 2:30 and it got moved up to 1:30. The scheduling chick told me that the cerclage surgery she had to do before me, is now gonna be a D&C surgery. My heart sank... Another woman just lost their baby... And I prayed for her.

But I'm feeling ok today. Still nervous, but now its more of a determined feeling. Determined to get this over with so we can move on. I hate worrying. I worried so much I have a nice pimple on my cheek to show for it. DAMN! But I'll be ok... I hope I will... Yea. I'll be ok.

Jenna, if you could ever so kindly to be my contact chica, and post after my surgery is done. I'll have Richard call ya as soon as I wake up. Thanks girlfriend! You're the best!
LOL, like how I ASSUMED you'd say Yes! Heee hee hee. I knew you would.

Anyhow. It's getting close to 9:30 and I'm STARVING!!!!! At 11:54 last night I woke up to have a bowl of Lucky Charms because my cut off time to eat was midnight. It reminded me of being in High School again. Before any competition it was tradition that our dance team would snack on Lucky Charms for Good Luck. Gah, I keep catching myself wondering over to the dang kitchen... I knew I shouldn't of baked those chocolate chip cookies Thursday... They're torturing me! All wrapped up on that cute cookie plate...

I better start getting ready. I can't wear any make-up (dr.'s orders) so I guess I oughta at least do my hair.

I'm glad I did take the day off work... I'd be a basketcase there.

When my RE makes an incision on my stomach she's probably gonne see the butterflies I have in there. lol I'm just so nervous.

Please send your prayers.

Sorry bout the aimless ramblings, its my nerves.

I love you guys, and appriciate all the love, support and most importantly the prayers.

Hugs to all,
Jennie

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Un Sure-gery day is coming

I'm sure the procedures will go ok, I'm just nervous about the anestesia. That's the only thing that has me freakin' out.

A couple days ago Richard and I had "the talk". We have "the talk" anytime one of us is gonna have surgery and be put under anesthesia. We talk about what the other should do in case something was to happen, if God decides its time to go. And this time, for the first time, I told him I'd want him to remarry. He is such a wonderful man, I'd want him to love, and be loved. And perhaps one day be the dad. Even if it is without me, I would want for him to be happy and share that love. I know it sounds a little extreme to be having that kinda talk when its just outpatient/minor surgeries, but ya never know.

Tomorrow I have a pre-op appointment at 1:15 to discuss what the plans are, and to watch 2 dvd's, 1 on each procedure. And I have to sign all the consents for my RE. I'll post tomorrow when I get back from my appt.

Monday, October 16, 2006

my weekend

This weekend went ok. Friday evening Richard went to my sister's house for a Texas Hold'em tournament. While the guys were there she (and my nephew) came to my house and ended up spending the night. She didn't talk much about her being pregnant, but the next morning at breakfast Jacob pointed to her belly, and says "be-le". She was like, "Yea that's momma's belly, and what's in momma's belly? A baby..." And Jacob repeats baaaaaby.
I'm like great. You taught your 18 month old that there's a baby in there, now whats gonna happen if God forbid you lose the baby? Huh? Ever thought about that? Nooooo. Of course not. You're young, and stupid, and nothing will ever happen like that. HELLLOOOO!!! OPEN YOUR FRICKIN EYES!!!!! Your sister, of your own flesh & blood, has problems maintaining a pregnancy and you just forget (or don't care) and treat this pregnancy like any ole' pregnancy. Yea, I know worrying about it isn't gonna help... But $HIT at least be cautious with what you expose you child to. UGGHHHH. She pi$ses me off sometimes...

Saturday we laid around the house, napped and watched tv. It rained so we spend that day just cuddling.

Sunday we went to a BBQ at Richard's sister's house. Her husband BBQ'd chicken, mushroom & shrimp kabobs. We went over and watched the Texans vs. Cowboys football game and we oinked out on junk food. The Texans got their as$es handed to them, as usual, but that's ok. I'm a true blue, and stick to my team through thick & thin. TEXANS ALL THE WAY BABY!

Today was suppose to be our Candlelit Remeberance Ceremony with our support group. But since its raining & flooding in the area its postponed till November 13th. Also, today is Erik's EDD, and had he been born on his EDD he'd be a year old today... I'm doing ok. Just keeping myself busy and I'm not really thinking a whole lot about it. Just trying to get through the day.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

week away

Gosh, its been a hectic week. Last week my boss asked for a volunteer to work in a different office to fill in for a girl that's gonna be out. Of course, me being the nice person I am, I volunteered. So they're paying my gas & milage, woo-hooo!

Anyhow... I didn't know how much work would be involved or what I would be responsible for, but apparently I have some HUGE shoes to fill here. This one lady is taking 2 wks off, and she runs the entire department of servicemen BY HER SELF!!! So here I am, little ole' me, not knowing what to do, how to do it, and who to ask for help... Lets just say, its been a long week. Friday is my last day doing this, so Monday I'll be back to my normal office again. And the crazy thing is, I'm actually looking forward to going back. (oh, gah..Did I just say that?)

Don't get me wrong now, the guys here are super sweet (almost a bit flirty) but they're much older, old enough to be my dad, and they're MARRIED, VERRRY MARRIED. LIKE MEEEEE! But what women doesn't like a little tiny bit of extra attention? But I've been a good girl and haven't paid them much attention... lol Its like that commercial for diet coke. The muscular hot & sweaty construction worker walks by the window just so the office full of women can gawk at him... And you can't help but to "admire" him but wouldn't DARE get caught lookin' or admit to lookin'. LOL Its kinda like that. Oh hell, we're all women here. Ok there's this one, dark hair, hazel eyes, and he's got a cute tight little... uh, I better just stop, I'm gonna get myself into trouble. You know where I was goin' with that one!

Friday, October 06, 2006

funeral

This afternoon we went to Richard's cousin's funeral & burial. Sally was 36 years old, survived by her husband of 6 years and son of18mths. She and her husband TTC for 3 yrs, got pregnant but sadly miscarried. The baby they have now is an IVF baby. Sally passed away on Oct 2nd, from a rare heart disease she was diagnosed with 4 wks ago. Originally her Dr. told her she had a year to live, but God had other plans. The services were nice, but so sad. She was laid to rest at Oak Park cemetary, about 10 yards away from my son. I'm glad my son will have some family near by.

Richard's taking it ok. He's just become extra clingy, which I don't mind. Last night he woke up every couple of hrs and hugged me, or brushed the hair away to kiss my forehead and cheeks. He snuggled up a little more than he usually does... This morning I asked how he was feeling because I didn't think he sleept very well. He said all night he was thinking of what Sally's husband must be going through. And that he hopes he never has to experience that. Death has a way of reminding us that life is short. Anytime someone dies, we always get reminded not to take life for granted, and to tell your loved ones that you love them. I know I don't say it often enough but, I am so grateful for the friends and family I have. Life is hard at times, and I don't know how of if I'd be able to make it without. Life is just to short to take for granted and to hold grudges. Because ya never know if the last "I love you" or "good-bye" you tell someone is the last.

I love you all.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Date is set

I called my RE's office and scheduled my appointments. Thursday Oct. 19that 1:15pm I have a pre-op appt. I have to watch a dvd about both the surgeries, and sign all consents. Then I have to go next door, to the hospital to sign all consents there.

Surgery day is October 20th at 2:30pm. I have to be there 2 hrs prior for paper work & prepping. I'm taking a half day off work Thursday, all day Friday & Monday. And I should be back to work Tuesday the 24th if all goes well.

But I'm so nervous. I know its not "major" surgery, but it still scares me. I hate going under anesthesia, its so scarey feeling like I have no control over my body. I know ultimately we don't have control, but I like to feel like I do somewhat.
Richard has been so clingy lately. He's home today from work, he's running fever again. He was sick all weekend, and it looks like he's relapsed. He wants me to make him soup, but he doesn't want me to leave his side. He wants me to rub his tummy, and take his temp... I have him so spoiled rotten, but he babys me when I'm sick so I have to baby him too.

Anyhow... Today won't go by fast enough. I'm so ready to go home. My head feels like its gonna explode, with this migraine. Took 2 Advils and its not working fast enough... I'm so impatient.

Monday, October 02, 2006

2 SURGERIES and a partridge in a pear tree.

This afternoon I had a sit down consultation appointment with my Reproductive Endocrinologist Dr. Schnell. It went ok. My start date with her was August 26, 2004, and because we are here over two years later with no baby we're gonna have to start moving a little quicker. Which is fine by me, but still makes be a bit nervous. So here's the plan of action.

Because our last pregnancy was unsuccessful due to the infection, that may have caused some problems. My uterine tissue could be inflamed, not so much to show up on ultrasound or bloodwork, but enough to prohibit implantation for embryo(s). The infection could have also caused adhesions (scar tissue) to develop and can block my fallopean tubes, not allowing egg(s) to ovulate. Oct 16, 2004 I had a hysteroscopy (surgery) to remove a fibroid from my uterine lining which was thought to have been the culprit for my first two miscarriages. Because I have that history that needs to be looked at again. So, in the next two weeks I'm going to have to have 2 surgeries, a hysteroscopy and a laproscopy. Because I need both surgeries, they'll be done one after the other, while I'm under anesthisia. Its an out patient surgery so it'll be done on a Friday morning, and I'll be released that evening. That same day, Richard's gonna have a SA done. So he'll have to provide his "specimen". (If ya know what I mean.) That way by the time I'm healed and ready to attempt the next cycle in a month we'll know how "his guys" are doing.

Once the surgeries are done, I heal. Mid-November we'll attempt another cycle. This time we're going to do an IUI, intrauterine insimination. I'd do my injections just like before to grow the follicles, once they're mature I do the trigger shot and ovuate. (All this is what we've been doing before.) The procedure will be done inner-office and I stay laying down for a while, then I can go back to work. So when the egg(s) comes down, hopefully they meet, hopefully they fertilize and HOPEFULLY they implant in my uterus. And hopefully we can hang on to our sanity for the 9 more months to meet the baby(ies). :)

I'm hopeful, if ya can't tell. Yea, I'm nervous about doing two surgeries at once, but if that's what we have to do... Then by God we will.

P.S. I'll update yall to let you know when the surgery is scheduled for. I'm gonna try to schedule it for the 20th.